Mental Health Update

So, I’m about to be going down to 50mg of lamotrigine – I was at 200mg for years, so that’s pretty huge – next week. I’m still at 25mg of venlafaxine, but I was on 150mg for almost the same amount of time that I was on lamotrigine for. I’m hoping to be off of lamotrigine by the end of January if not sooner & off of venlafaxine by March if not sooner.

In terms of withdrawal symptoms, things have been pretty okay. My brain is kinda delicate feeling & sensory stimuli is more intense than it’s been in a long while, but it’s manageable. All in all, I’m not having too many physical issues from reducing as far as I can tell. I am noticing that my emotional states are have been heightened again. Since I’m feeling things more, I’ve been a bit spazzier/all over the place. I’ve also noticed an increase in anger, which is giving me a shorter fuse again. That kinda sucks, so if I’ve been testy with you lately, I apologize. It’s gonna be an adjustment learning how to cope with the intensity of my emotional range in its entirety again. I believe I can do it, but it might just be a bit rocky for a while. All in all, however, I think it’s going well, & I’m optimistic.

The hypnotherapist has been working wonders for me. I’ve only been twice, but she’s actually quite incredible. I wish that I should have tried this ages ago because it’s targeting what’s going on in the body to alleviate the stressors in my mind instead of the reverse which hasn’t ever helped. It’s going to require a lot of practice before I can start implementing these techniques on my own, so I hope that I don’t have to stop going anytime soon.

I’m also looking into different outpatient support services to help “disabled” adults here in Bellingham & really hope I find some that can aid me in changing my day to day lifestyles. I think I need to look into a lawyer who helps cases like me to get access to certain resources, because it’s all very daunting & exhausting trying to do on my own. The system pushes back really hard in order to try to discourage people from asking for help, so unless you are working with someone who knows how to jump through all the hoops, you can get repeatedly denied & screwed worse than you were before. I’ve heard of some services & organizations that are worth looking into, however. I’d love to be able to live on my own again at some point, but just getting out of bed & taking care of daily things would be a nice start.

I have a lot of phone calls to make & appointments to schedule in the next few days/weeks if I wanna get the ball rolling for my plans in the new year. It makes me tired just thinking about it all, but if it might help me be less tired later on, it’s worth pushing forward. I may be going at a snail’s pace, but at least I’m still going. One step at a time…

Published by Jax Bayne

Autistic artist, writer, consultant, researcher, analyst, and systems engineer. Occasional axe thrower, model, cosplayer, gamer, & streamer. Latinx ace/demiflux masc enby. SpIns: #autism #bhaktiyoga #comics #fantasy #games #horror #linguistics #moths #neuropsychology #scifi

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